So at my second post, I probably have a lot of haters, just for the title of this.
Recently, someone ran their mouth about a friend of mine being 19 and pregnant. This someone is just 15. Obviously a very opinionated girl.
She made comments such as "Everyone knows teenage pregnancy is wrong." And went so far as to call my friend a "slag" She did this all online. Figures.
Anyway, I want to just get across the benefits of teenage pregnancy, and applaud my best friend for doing this.
Some may say I am biased because, at just 16, my gran gave birth to my uncle. Then at seventeen, my mother gave birth to me, an 11 week preemie. Then at 18, my auntie gave me a baby cousin.
Of course, being comfortable with my own sexuality, due to discussing sex with my mother and in school, the Child commented 'Well that explains you then.' Let's not even get into what happened next.
While teenage pregnancy rates have gone down, figures in recent years have also shown that younger mothers have a very high success rate.
Many people, when seeing a pregnant teenager, would say 'Oh. She's pregnant. Slag'. Well, if I ever hear someone say that, I'm the first to reply to them.
When you see a pregnant teen, you haven't a clue what she's been through. You don't know if that girl is married (Which she can be with parental consent in most places), in a long term relationship, if she's been raped, or if she only wanted to try having sex and ended up pregnant on her first time.
You have no idea of anyone Else's circumstances, and yet we all judge people. I'm guilty of it myself, I have judged people, I will most likely do so in the future too, no matter how much I try not to.
Then there's the thing about the teenager actually having the baby. Whilst termination is an option for some people, I strongly disagree with it myself, and I would be proud of any young lady who decided to have her baby; whether adopting or keeping her child.
Whilst it's illegal to have sex under the age of sixteen, when people see someone over sixteen pregnant, they still get judged, and that's what I truly don't understand.
At sixteen it's acceptable to be having sex, but not to get pregnant? Is that was today's society believes? At eighteen, you're a legal adult, but hey, if you have sex and get pregnant, you're on your own!
Because clearly, anyone who gets pregnant under, for example, 25, is going to end up quiting their jobs to become a single mother, live on a council estate and live off benefits her whole life, while smoking 40 a day and giving herself 'Special Injections' on a daily basis too? Get off it! If that's what you think of society then you have no belief in your own country!
These days there is so much support for teenage mothers - colleges even arrange childcare for you! How can you think that a teenage mother is going to be a bad mother when you don't know what she's going to do?
My friend is at University, going into her second year, and she's going to be living at home, getting child care for her baby, my god daughter, whilst she studies to get a decent job, with good money, to support her baby.
I know people who are a lot more unfit mothers than that!
My mother and father have been together for eighteen years. They went through so much when I was born, and I was on a ventilator for almost three months, when they were just seventeen and eighteen.
Now I have 3 younger sisters, and I've grown up to be, what I consider, a respectable young lady.
I don't go around shouting the odds, I don't go get drunk every night, in fact, I rarely drink, only on a night out, and I have 9 passed GCSE's, two college qualifications, and while claiming job seekers right now, I'm one of the few people who are actually looking for a job, and applying for jobs every day!
Did my mother raise me badly? No, I don't think so. I've had excellent school reports, went to one of the best schools in Stockport (Bramhall High School), and then went straight on to college.
I stayed in every night until I turned 17, I babysat the children next door for extra money, was never late, and attended both school and college every day. Is that an example of a bad mother, just because she was sixteen?
My friend has made everything revolve around her pregnancy. She doesn't drink, she's bought lots of things for her baby, and has friends and family to support her. Every single thing she does revolves around her child, and she has had little support from the father.
In my opinion, having to deal with something so important will help young women to grow up into better women and to have good morals. Of course, I'm not one to judge on what 'good morals' are, none of us are. Everyone has their own opinion of good and bad.
Also, as a young mother, in comparison to a 30 year old woman, you can move around and play with your child better. You have more energy to play and be active with your child, and, despite children not being accessories, you want to show your baby off more.
Many older mothers would be protective of their children, from what I have seen myself, and are very picky about where they take their babies and when; especially in the first few months.
Younger mothers, however, are very excited mostly, and want to take their baby to the park, and to the shops, and push their new pram, and try out their bouncy chair and swing. The experiences a baby may have with a younger mother are vast and wide.
Another thing is that younger mothers, especially those due in the summer, don't have to get back to work straight away, because most of them are in school or university. Of course, this would affect their studies, but there is most often a plan set up for their education, and they can take on an extra year, and take work home when they need to; whereas an older mother would have to get back to work quicker, in order to pay bills, because really, you can't live off of maternity pay.
The men play a big part in it too. Although I stated that my nameless friend has had little support from the baby's father, that's not always the case.
In fact, a lot of boys want to be involved in this day and age. They want to take their baby to the park, and they want to teach them to play football - some of them even want to change nappies!
The purpose of this blog is in no way to encourage kids to go and have babies, at all, or to say that older mothers are rubbish, that is certainly not the case at all, but it's to make people aware that teenagers who have babies aren't always as cliche as you think, and judging them is wrong.
Judging anyone is wrong.
I really don't have much more to say on this right now, and I am truly sorry if anyone is offended. This is my opinion of the matter and that is all.
Thank yous
Ashley xo
Stay Strong Everyone x
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