Recently I’ve been hearing a lot of things about fathers. I
say fathers, because I remember hearing a quote saying “It’s one thing to father
a child, but it’s another to be a dad.”
I believe in this quote completely.
Although I have no children myself, and I don’t know, from
experience, how hard it is, I think I have a pretty good idea. I’ve been brought
up as one of the oldest of my generation in our extended family, and there are
a lot of us.
I’m hearing a lot of stuff about deadbeat dads, and about dads who have stuck around for their kids, which isn’t
surprising since I spend my mornings listening to Jeremy Kyle, whilst applying
for jobs. I just feel like the dads that stick around need a bit of credit too.
I never hear anything good said about dads, and I think it’s
time something was said!
Yeah, a deadbeat may not take responsibility for his kid,
but what about the guys that do?
I have a lot of respect for them, even if their child is
their responsibility. Responsibility doesn’t make you love someone,
unconditionally. Responsibility doesn’t make your heart pound when your child
cries – that’s just what a dad does!
There a dads out there who cook, who clean, do the laundry,
wash the dishes, work, and still find time to be dads to their kids, and I
think that’s the most important quality any father can have.
Someone who actually finds time for their kids.
I even admire what some people call ‘part-time fathers’ who
are only allowed to see their children on weekends. I mean, they could choose
not to see them at all, right?
The you have the men who raise someone else’s child. There’s
not many men, in my opinion, that would do that. It’s a great thing to do, and
I for one salute those men.
We can’t just say ‘a woman works hard’ or ‘mums work so hard’,
because lots of men do it too, and we can’t just cast them aside! It’s unfair,
and it’s discriminatory.
Some men are scared, and some men are worried, but it doesn’t
stop them from taking responsibility for their own children.
There are men who would skip work, knowing they would be
fired for missing too many days, because yet again, their child was sick. It
may not be the smartest move, but it shows how much they care.
And lets not just assume this is only married men over a
certain age either! I’ve seen boys, yes, boys, at seventeen, leave college
because they had to go and pick their child up from nursery.
Plenty of my friends are parents now, something I’m not
entirely ready to join in with yet, but some of the fathers are there, and some
aren’t. Some of them see their children, and some don’t. I guess it’s the way
life goes, but I think those that stick around, do deserve the respect that any
mother would get.
Some mothers don’t plan to keep their children with them,
and some feel that they don’t have a choice, after all, they’re the ones who
carry the children for nine months, and then give birth to them. They have all
of that bonding time, a lot more than the father has, yet, as if magically,
these men still love their children, right from the word go.
They take their kids to the park on weekends, and they take
them to school. They collect them at the end of the day, and they go to PTA
meetings. They play an active part in these childrens lives, and I just want to
say well done.
Every one of you could have just walked out, but you didn’t.
You made a choice to stay with your children, and that, especially if you’re
very young, is something that you should be proud of.
Most people would say ‘why be proud? It’s what they should
do!’ While this is true, these men have stood above others, and I feel like
every day, there are more and more children being born into the world, with
fathers who love them, and who want to know them, and spend time with them. At
least, I hope this is true.
